How nice is it if things were simpler… im having one of those feeling of helplessness again. I think its probably the worst feeling one should feel. Everytime it just makes me think and wish: if only I don’t feel a thing… if only I’m immune to helplessness, if only I have no feeling or emotions at all… if only, things were easier.
Have you ever feel that people around you are irritated because of you, that you are their burden, as if they can’t wait to dispense you, throw you away as far as they could… once again, I hate this feeling. People thought you were the only one who’s having fun, that you don’t feel that they hate you… they are so very wrong, I feel it, and it makes me think that if only, I’m not there, that I never really existed.
You can’t help it but sometimes you think that death is the easiest way out. When you see other people commit suicide, you’ll think that how dumb are they to do that. But when something really stressful and devastating happen on you, you wish you were one of them.
I feel like banging my head to the wall, and collapse, and never wake up again. But what had happened is not that serious that banging my head can’t help a thing. There’s always ways to settle things. So hope I’ll get it thru and see sunshine again.
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